I’m drawn to photographing doors that I find to be interesting when I’m on vacation. Not original, really. A lot of people photograph doors. They can be interesting for many different reasons. From an architectural and/or decorative standpoint, but also for symbolic reasons.
I enjoy the personality of a home the front door can sometimes display, but I also think about how a door can represent an opportunity, an experience, a new beginning. Lately, I’ve been praying a lot about my purpose and having the wisdom to recognize when God presents an opportunity, a door, that He wants me to open, to peek inside, to perhaps even to walk into. Maybe it is because I’m at a transition point in my life. My youngest is starting high school in the fall, and my oldest has just purchased his first home! While the two in between are in that awkward in between stage of almost adult, but just not quite there yet, so I’m thinking about my future as well, and where do I want to put my energies, my time, my ideas. Oftentimes, even though I enjoy painting, writing, designing, I don’t pursue an idea or put forth the effort, I talk myself out of it. My self talk can be negative, that idea is dumb or how unoriginal, not talented enough. Recently, on Elizabeth Gilbert’s facebook page, she had an excerpt from her soon to be released book (which I will definitely read), that resonated with me. I also heard her TED talk on this subject of the creative process:
“Every day as artists, we must forgive ourselves.
We must forgive ourselves for the work not being as good as we want it to be.
We must forgive ourselves for missing yet another deadline.
We must forgive ourselves the times that we don’t show up in the studio at all — sometimes for months on end — because we have lost the energy or inspiration for it.
We must forgive ourselves for doing the same thing over and over again, when we really long to be original and sparkling.
We must forgive ourselves when we embark on a project and it completely and utterly bombs.
We must forgive ourselves for being jealous of other artists who seem to be better at EVERYTHING than we are.
Without constant self-forgiveness, you will never be able to keep on creating.
For me, I can only summon a sense of self-forgiveness when I remind myself that I am just a beginner.
We are all just beginners.
And the only thing a beginner can do, in order to improve, is to keep going.”
So I choose to forgive myself and keep trying to find that door, and I pray to have the wisdom to recognize that door as an opportunity given to me by God, and then have the perseverance and courage to knock, maybe try turning the doorknob, and perhaps even opening it and walking through.